Where I’m coming from

( … among other places.)

Once when I was a little child, I was at my father’s parents’ house when a friend of theirs brought a beautiful shining crystal. Their friend, my grandparents explained to me, was a Strahler – a mountaineer and a seeker of crystals and gemstones. What a vocation! I was enchanted, and for a while, when asked what I wanted to become later in life, I answered that I would be a Strahler. And, by another route, isn’t that what I became? Or what I realized I already was?

What’s more, the verb strahlen in German means to shine brighly, to radiate, and, when ascribed to a person, to beam. I am reminded of that whenever I meet someone who has stepped into their vocation and embodies their true self – something I’m working to move ever closer to.

These kinds of ruminations take courage to share, as they may seem self-absorbed or creating a story in hindsight. But first, better to author your own story and create meaning in your life. And second, more and more I find that one of the artist’s (and the teaching artist’s) jobs is to look within and learn about who they are so they can nurture it and bring it to bear in their work, and so may inspire others to do the same.

Here’s something that I wrote last year when I was in the middle of an exploration that I hope to pick up soon, and the above memory was on my mind: Notes for the current and future expeditions.


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Notes for the current and future expeditions

To find a gem that shines in darkness you must venture deep into the cave.

Ignore the pebbles in the entrance’s half-light: the easy wins don’t matter, and have been collected many times before. You may have to chip away at dull rock for a long while until you unearth a glimmer – or you might luck out with an early find.

Talk to yourself if you need company or courage. Take notes. Over time, you’ll learn where it’s worth digging, and your odds will improve.

No matter what you remember hearing from those who never crossed the entrance: follow the goosebumps. Be alert to slight changes in gusts of air, and be still until your senses grow accustomed to the demands of a new terrain.

Don’t rush or you might step on treasures without even noticing. You must look without believing you know what you will see; there are many forms a jewel can take. Learn to see with your eyes closed: to find the thing you need is to find something infinitely familiar but previously hidden.

Remember Borges’ ur and Brussolo’s bounties, and every dream you ever had.

Remember, Strahler: the mountain is you.


[Edit 28 February, 2018: see here for some context.]

Image credit: Purple Crystals by John Wardell (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)

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